Gerry’s Post-Truth Festive Funland Winter Wonderland here in east London.
Enjoy a drink while the kids roll about in a pit of tinsel and broken faerie lights supplied from the London Dungeon. Sparklers and a brown bag lucky dip of utter disappointment – usually contents of bedroom bins from local budget hotels. Big prize insults and passing drunken revelers urinating in gutters and nearby doorways provide than real east end experience. Shifty geezers in hoodies steal the kids phones and iPad’s while singing Slades’ 1973 Christmas hit.
Don’t get ripped off in mud clagged car parks and ride crippled donkeys with coat hanger antlers. Just pop round give me a tenner and I’ll laugh like a drain while your kids resent you for life and demand counseling.
Come on you know your kid’s are worth it – the spoilt, simpering wretches…
It a tough world out there.. Russian kids can take it – can yours?!!